This is an old one, but I couldn’t resist, sorry…

Well, the declaration is published, and the initial analysis is flowing in. The primates attending the Global Anglican Future CONference have decided to form a ‘fellowship of confessing Anglicans’, which may or may not recognize Canterbury and the leaders of the Episcopal Churches in the US and Canada.

The fellowship has defined itself doctrinally, holding on to the 39 Articles and the 1662 Book of Common Prayer. It has also sought to create its own Primates Council to act as doorkeepers to who’s in and who’s out of the new club…

What does all this mean? Well, at this stage we don’t know, and we probably won’t until after Lambeth, and the reactions of all the Bishops who weren’t in Jerusalem this week. But the seeds are there for the creation of a whole new Anglican Church: a full on schism, even if that is not a word being used at present.

Will it go that far? Well Dr Peter Jensen, the Archbishop of Sydney (and one of the declaration signatories) certainly seems to be hoping that it won’t, but the commentators seem less sure. Riazat Butt at the Guardian seems to have already declared schism; Ruth Gledhill at The Times is saying something similar (albeit slightly modified). Paul Handley, the Church Times‘ man at GAFCON is the most consolatory at this point, but things really don’t look too good…

Will this ‘church within a church’ manage to stay within the Communion? That is certainly the stated intention, but its hard to see this going down well at Lambeth. All we can really do at this point is wait, hope, and pray… 

UPDATE: Ruth Gledhill has just posted the Archbishop of Canterbury’s response, which is worth reading.

Just in case you thought Liberal was becoming a dirty word…

“A Day in the Life of a Middle-Class Republican” is worth reading, even if you aren’t American.

“Tom gets up at 6:00 AM to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot with good, clean drinking water because some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards….”

[From 'Things younger than McCain']

I was quite flippant about GAFCON (the Global Anglican Future CONference) in my last post. The thing is, while I acknowledge that this is something that will bore or bemuse the vast majority, I think it is actually a hugely significant event.

The BBC and the broadsheets certainly think so. Dave Walker, over at the church times, shows some of the huge amount of press comment being generated on this at the moment.

The BBC especially love to talk up disharmony in the Anglican church. last night we had Colin Slee, Dean of Southwark Cathedral, who does for the left what Chris Sugden is for the right of the communion. Between them Auntie can pretty much guarantee that someone will get slagged off, insulted, or described as heretical. Why we never hear moderate, nuanced Anglican voices on PM or Newsnight I don’t know, but then I guess there is nothing a liberal, atheistic media would love more than a real schism in the state church.

So, why does GAFCON matter? Well, despite the fact that the end result of this conference may not be what the commentators are hoping, the fact that GAFCON is happening at all is momentous. The Anglican Church has historically managed to tread a difficult tightrope, maintaining Communion with people of widely different perspectives of theology and praxis. It has often done this through fudge and compromise, but it has done it. As much as they would probably rather not be, Colin Slee and Chris Sugden are ordained in the same church, committed to the same central tenants, recognising the same authorities.

The issues of homosexuality and women priests are not the only ones on which there is a variety of opinions in the Anglican Church. There are Calvinists and Arminianists, Charismatics and Cessationalists, the Anglo-Catholic High Church and the non-liturgical Low. All these and more have managed to remain under a single banner, despite disagreeing, often vehemently. Through fudge, compromise and a glacial pace of change the Anglican leadership has managed to tread a middle way that keeps even those at the far edges in step, never quite reaching the point of breaking away.

Yes, there have been leavers: my current employers for one, and the forbears of my churches movement as another. But for every group that has decided to part ways, there have been others of similar sensibilities who have managed to work within the wider body, enriching it and being enriched as a result.

GAFCON matters because here is a group that is actively talking about alternative structures and relationships, about reaching points of no return. That raises the dreadful possibility of all the fundamentalist evangelicals jumping ship. Many, I know, would say ‘good riddance’ but, as an Aeronautical Engineer, I can tell you that if you lose the end of your right wing and keep the left then you are not going to be able to fly straight. In fact, that lack of stability may well see you crash and burn.

If the GAFCON attendees leave the Communion, the moderates, even the Evangelical moderates who sympathise with the cause (if not the manner of its implementation) will not follow. But the resulting Church will be unbalanced with far more leaders of liberal persuasion in high office than would be healthy.

The other reason that GAFCON matters is because it enables the media to continue to paint the Church (and by that, I mean far wider than just the Anglicans), as illiberal, out of date and obsessed with sex. The resulting image is not one of a love of Christ for the world, but of angry, bigoted reactionaries intent on making society like themselves or departing from it to as great a degree as is possible.

GAFCON makes the Church seem backward and irrelevant to the world. It might actually split the Anglican Communion. It matters, and I sit here and watch with horror and a morbid fascination. Its like watching a train wreck, on live TV…

No-one else will care about this (it drew numerous blank looks when I was asked to explain it at the weekend), but GAFCON began today.

No, this isn’t come high tech conference dealing in the latest GPS-related gadgets or a superhero-fans get together: GAFCON is the Global Anglican Future CONference, a gathering of right-wing, ‘conservative’ clergy from the UK and the Third World.

Basically a whole host of ‘Traditionalist’, anti-gay, anti-women, leaders got offended that our beloved Rowan invited so many of those evil liberals to his once-a-decade Lambeth Conference that they went off in a huff and created their own gathering. Kind of a “we don’t like your smelly club, so we’re going to have our own! – And you’re not invited!!”

Yes, it is a whole load of Bishops and other significant spiritual leaders behaving like 6-year olds, including respected evangelicals like Michael Nazir-Ali, the Bishop of Rochester, and Peter Akinola, Archbishop of Nigeria.

***

Seriously, this whole thing makes my blood boil, and I am having a hard time writing about it in anything approaching a balanced manner. My angry, opinionated b*****d side rears its head every time someone mentions the word ‘Reform’ or Anglican Mainstream.

If you wanted to deliberately set out to give the secular world exactly the wrong impression of a Christian response to the (very real) issues of homosexuality and women in leadership, GAFCON would be it. There is no message of love or Grace for the individual here, rather an approach of ‘if you even conscience to begin to sensitively wrestle with these issues, we will have nothing to do with you’. All that communicates to the world is at best angry indifference, and at worst real hate towards what is an established position in Western society.

That’s not to say that the church should just capitulate and abandon centuries old belief to follow the conventions of society, especially when the perspectives of societies around the world are so wildly different. It is just that this is an issue that deeply affects individuals’ core beliefs and perceptions of themselves and so needs to be dealt with sensitively. Instead we have a perfect example of how ignorant the church is of media relations and its perception in society: what is communicated to the world by these actions is often the exact opposite of what I believe the vast majority of individuals concerned would choose to convey in person.

Like I said, I don’t suppose many people, even Anglicans, will care about the gathering of a minority of Anglican leaders. But if there is a split in the Anglican Communion, it will be this conference that historians point to as the significant precursor.

Dave Walker, over at the Church Times Blog, is doing a great job of pulling together all various voices on this. Go read if I’ve managed to interest you…

One of the delights of the modern age is the act of surfing randomly round the internet, seeing what surprises there are in store. Things you’ve never thought of, but strike you as comedy genius on discovery.
Y’know, like Christian Aerobics LP covers…

…and the people who collect them.

It even happens with Christian writers sometimes, too. Every now and then I peruse Brant Hansen’s site. (The man with the greatest post-categories I’ve ever seen). Some of his stuff is great, but a lot of it bugs me, so it’s not been a regular read to date. I discovered one post yesterday however that I thought needed sharing.

In the spirit of the plagiarism that the UK’s most celebrated psychologist has engaged in, I’m going to reproduce it (almost) in full – but if you don’t like that, here’s the link to the original.

A list of things you can do, and still go to hell.

“Be a scripture memorizer
Go to church camp
Teach Sunday School
Tithe
Be a brilliant theologian
Lead the Cookies-for-Newcomers ministry
Think you’re pre-destined for Heaven
Listen to Christian radio
Work in Christian radio
Lead “powerful worship”
Preach the Word
Be a missionary in Africa
Be involved in a small group
Stand for Justice and Peace
Vote pro-life
Go to seminary
Pray for the President
Have a brilliant, theologically-astute understanding of Grace
Talk to people about Christ
Say the sinner’s prayer
Speak in tongues
Wear a WWJD? bracelet
Be an elder in your church
Argue with your teacher about evolution
Lead family devotions
Argue theology on your blog
Argue theology on this blog
Take a Stand for prayer in school
Start a hip, organic church
Substitute the word “poop” for the word “shit”
“Take” or “receive” “communion” every week, month, quarter, or year, without fail
Come forward at church camp
Take a Stand for Truth in the face of the alarmingly-relativist “emergent” church
Place sticker of fish, preferably eating Darwin fish, on car
Pray
Confidently trace your church’s lineage back to Peter
Read Max Lucado
Actually want to read Max Lucado
Be sure you’re Elect
Suspect you’re cool because you sure no one’s Elect
Read the Bible a lot
Argue that drinking alcohol would ruin your “witness”
Sing the right words to “Shout to the Lord”, unapologetically, unlike those rassemfrassems on American Idol.  Sheesh.
Rue those new choruses that lack deep theology
Be transparent about your shortcomings on your kampy blog
Be baptized
Know the guitar chords for all the Chris Tomlin songs
Personally baptize Chris Tomlin
Sponsor a child through Compassion International
Steer clear of R-rated movies
Homeschool your children
Mail only Christmas cards with baby Jesus in it, and a scripture
Look like Jesus with a beard and stuff
Be a member of Promise Keepers
Be a member of Sojourners
Be a Prophetic Voice
Be a counsellor at a Billy Graham Crusade
Wear “Lord’s Gym” t-shirts
Organize VBS
Work at Focus on the Family
Share openly at Small Group
Tsk tsk Harry Potter
Know who Priscilla and Aquilla are
Know who DeGarmo and Key are
Watch, repeatedly, “The Passion of the Christ”
Force your kids to watch, repeatedly, “The Passion of the Christ”
Go to confession
Eschew the banalities of commercial Christian culture and refuse to listen to Michael W. Smith, instead opting for Sufjan Stevens and U2 and — maybe — Mat Kearney
Bemoan the secularization of Christmas
Be a key member of a church that offers solid, Biblical teaching — none of that namby-pamby stuff
Be the pastor who offers solid, Biblical teaching — none of that namby-pamby stuff
Cheer for Hannity
Boo Colmes
Give the neighbourhood kids “Cross-Pops” (TM) candy for Halloween
Talk about how spiritually lame you are all the time
Lead your neighbours to Christ
“Study to show yourself approved”
Be correct about every.  single.  thing.
“Know”, theologically, that this post is correct, too, but live as if it weren’t!”

How many did you tick off?

Kingdom Grace has been blogging again on Church as Business. A few thoughts.

The corporate model of church permeates the American scene much more than it does here in the UK. There are few, if any, mega-churches over here. That said, most of the people Grace quotes are making the connection between business and building-based churches in general: basically, having overheads (buildings, paid staff) means that you have to play the numbers game. Church becomes about getting (and keeping) a number of people through the door.

Ok, lets have a look at this…

Numbers

I remember having lots of conversations with my pastor about this, back when I was working for the church. He very much saw (and probably still does) church ‘success’ in terms of numbers: preferably people making fresh commitments to Christ, but bums on seats was a good second place. I’ve never been that comfortable with this, but it has to be said that there are few ‘measurables’ when it comes to churches, so how else do you know if you are doing the right thing?

Even if your focus is on building a strong, biblical (whatever that means), open and sharing community, isn’t your measure of whether you are doing that well that other people want to join? And if people are wanting to join, then you are going to grow in terms of numbers.

That was Pastor Matt’s argument, anyway. Although, it has to be said that in pursuing genuine close community the church has actually shrunk numerically over the couple of years. So maybe it’s not a case of numbers being the best measure, but them being the only real measure we have (however imperfect).

Sheep

OK, before talking about money, I want to drop in a quick thought about sheep. Grace’s post is largely quoting others, so I’m not sure if this was a thought from her or someone else, but there was a…

“…[lament] about church pirates who steal sheep, clearly communicating a sense of territorialism about church growth rather than an open and inclusive view of the body of Christ extending the kingdom.”

Umm, yes… er… actually, no.

Having worked for a church, I’ve hung out with a few pastors, and pretty much all of them get hung up about sheep stealers. I remember having a conversation with one friend who was hugely against church-planting, because her home town has had a succession of plants that became ‘the next best thing’. Churches would set up, the word would get out, and passionate believers would come along to devote their energies to the vision… until a year or so another new church would be planted and they would head off over there, leaving the church they’ve left raped of the resources it needs to function (we’ll get onto the f word in a bit).

I am absolutely positive that there is tons of territorialism between churches, but I really don’t think that’s the main reason pastors get het up about this issue. Sheep stealing bothers them because they are all, by and large, passionately engaged in what they see as Kingdom work: building community, spreading the Gospel etc. And losing people damages their ability to pursue that work.

Most churches have a limited supply of ‘engaged’ attendees; people who are prepared to get in, get their hands dirty, give time and energy to the work of the church. Most churches, no matter how large or small, or how many paid employees they have, cannot function without that pool of volunteers. And, for some reason, it is that ‘engaged’ minority that are so often tempted away to new church plants down the road, or whatever. When they go off to church B, seeking that ‘calling to a better expression of my giftings’, the pastor of church A is left bereft, unable to keep running the house group or children’s ministry or worship team or whatever that they were involved in.

So don’t be too cynical about pastors who bemoan sheep stealers…

Money

I used to be the finance guy at my church, banking the offering, paying the invoices, doing the payroll etc. I know how much a modern church costs, even ones with limited ‘programmes’ and few paid staff. And I know those monthly meetings with the pastor where we worried why ‘giving was down’ this month, and would we be able to pay all the bills. And, y’know, during those moments you do seriously ponder if this was at all what Jesus was thinking of when he called us ‘church’.

As a church we were proud (still are I think) that we gave 10% of our income to missions. Towards the end of my time there we started thinking about if we could maybe give 5% to the poor as well. 5%! – it leaves you thinking, where’s the other 85% going? But I tell ya, none of us were getting rich on this (I was making around £10k, living in the most expensive city in the world) – it was all going on overheads.

So, most of the voices in Grace’s post are in agreement that those overheads, those building costs etc, are just not what church is about. Well, ok. I agree (sorta). But it is very hard: buildings just cost money, even when you are renting (40% of our costs, buildings rented – more than ½ of that on a venue for 4 hours a week). If you want to get rid of that cost, then you need to get out of the building.

Otherwise, that church is going to need your money. (And going to have to think a bit like a business because of that fact)

Function

So, here’s the rub (as master Will would say). What is the function of church?

The whole emerging/deconstructing conversant crew will argue that church is about New Testament community lifestyle, personal relationship with Christ, engaging with the missional focus of Jesus. Living the life, so to speak.

Ok. The problem is that, when they try to do this, sooner or later they come back to meetings. And meetings, once they are too big to fit in your living room (lounge), need a building. And buildings cost moolah; which brings you right back to the business model again.

There are other ways of being church, but few people escape that focus. And the NT is no help to us here, because the believers clearly met in the Temple Courts in Jerusalem, and in the Synagogue in places like Corinth and Ephesus (as well as in each others homes). Which is fine as long as you have a neighbouring faith community who is willing to share.

The other issue: My contention is that, at this point in our history, most believers want meetings. They want church to be a place as well as a community. Which is why most emergents end up having meetings (even if they start by stopping them).

“Instead of being the sacred places they were meant to be, our churches will only become more and more like the world around them; like businesses chasing the latest market niche.”

If you start with the intention of being a sacred space, you will end up with a business model. Because you will have to find a way to pay the heating bill. 

[Must… resist… blogging… about… WWDC…]

Its no use, I can’t do it!

On Monday Apples World Wide Developers Conference kicks off with the biannual keynote speech by his Jobbsness. These two speeches, one in February the other in June are the main occasions for Apple to launch new products.

This year the techblogs are alive with rumours about the new 3G iPhone, which is almost certain to be a big feature of the keynote (given that the current model is out of stock everywhere). Blogs like Gizmodo have even gone so far as to create a feature wish list for the product, along with design competitions for what it may or may not look like.

I’d be interested in a new iPhone, especially if it was a) cheaper (subsidise Apple, like everyone else does!) and b) had some usable GPS – cell-tower triangulation is ok for in cities, but rubbish when it comes to being halfway up a mountain. [My ideal would be for someone to release an Ordinance Survey programme for it, I’d happily pay extra for detailed topographical maps and waypoints].

The rest of the cellphone market is catching up with Apple, and the current iPhone doesn’t look as unique and revolutionary as it did a year ago. Yet the concept is a good one – we are moving towards the idea of a single, portable device that carries out all your electronic needs: PDA, phone, camera, music player, etc etc. Apple seem to be playing the iPhone as a software platform that will eventually run programmes to meet your various needs, which compounds the integration aim. Good on them, but I agree with Gizmodo again; we need cut and paste, or the iPhone will never even meet the usefulness of my ageing iPaq.

There are also rumours of a refresh of the Mac Operating system, and the possibilities of new laptops of various forms. Who knows. One thing we can be sure of is that Apple will do its upmost to surprise us.

In the spirit of all the other wish list s out there, here is mine (I don’t expect any of these to be true*)

Apple Radio
In the spirit of Nokia’s Comes with Music service, an update to iTunes that allows for unlimited music for a fixed fee, combined with the ability to send people playlists. You could even combine it with a ‘broadcast’ feature for the iPhone/iPod Touch that would allow you to share what you are listening to with other users you pass in the street. Apple expanding the musical vocabulary of the world – surely a good thing.

New Laptops
Preferably thinner, lighter, more powerful, but without the loss of functionality. The MacBook Air is just unusable in my opinion, as pretty as it is, you can’t lose the optical drive and go down to one USB port – what you gain in portability is immediately lost by the number of wires and accessories you need to cart round with you! No, a nice light version of the MacBook Pro would be good, Steve, please?

3D Graphics
Macs are beautiful, functional things, incredibly easy to use. But there are plenty of PC users who are tempted to move over to the dark side, only to be put off by the fact that their games just won’t run. Even running XP through bootcamp, iMacs and MacBooks of all sorts still have issues with even last generation PC games (and there are no Mac versions of decent games). I know that the diehards will stick with their Alienware whatever, but us casual PC gamers (like me!) could be welcomed into the fold with just a little effort.

Virtualisation
There was a rumour earlier in the year that Leopard contained threads of code that might, theoretically, one day allow Macs to natively run Windows programmes without having to run Windows (either through bootcamp, or through a virtualisation like Parallels). Personally, I think this would be the killer: you would see whole hosts of companies and individuals going over to Apple to escape Microsoft’s bloated, buggy, virus ridden domain. It will never happen, but we can dream…

OK, I’m going to stop wishing. We will just have to wait and see what happens (6pm BST!). Lets see what we’ll be surprised by, disappointed by, and what delights Steve unveils when he goes “One more thing…”

We can pretty much be sure it won’t be this.
See you the other side…

*but it would be nice if they were

Not content with living longer than Bilbo’s famous eleventy-one years in the Shire*, UK resident and WW1 (yes, that’s I one) veteran Henry Allingham is celebrating his 112th birthday with a bigger party as well!

Allingham is being honoured by the RAF with an almighty bash at RAF Cranwell, including a fly-past by the Battle of Britain memorial flight, and display jump from the Royal Air Force Falcons Parachute Display Team. That beats a dragon firework and a disappearing trick, doesn’t it?

“Mr Allingham is the last survivor of the Battle of Jutland in 1916 and also fought at the Somme and Ypres where he was bombed and shelled.

He joined the Royal Air Force when it was formed from the Royal Naval Air Service (RNAS) and the Army’s Flying Corps in 1918.

His many medals and honours include the British War Medal, the Victory Medal and the Legion D’Honneur - the highest military accolade awarded by France.

He has joked that the secret to his longevity is ‘cigarettes, whisky and wild women’.”

Happy birthday sir, here’s to your 113th year!

*yes, I know he lived to older than 111