The Morning After the Night Before

So, Labour have lost Glasgow East (how careless)

The SNP found it behind the sofa

Gordon Brown is now presumably making frantic phone calls to other members of the Cabinet, to try an ensure that none of them challenge for the leadership (unlikely – bit of a poisoned chalice right now. Plus their almost exclusively not Leadership material, which is why Gutless Gordo keeps them around)

David Cameron has suggested that this would be a good time to call a General Election (blatant political opportunism).

So, what happens now? Well, Gordon will do all he can to stay in the job, probably acting like this hasn’t happened (or isn’t a bad thing). He’s going to try and ride out the wave, which will be difficult for him, as he’s a little too portly and unresponsive for surfing…

He could do worse than take up Cameron’s offer. Of course, at this point Labour would almost-certainly lose the election, but as one economist told Cameron the other day – that might be no bad thing… There’s no way that Gordo would keep hold of the Labour leadership, but he might hold on to enough dignity to come back as a front bencher after the Conservatives lost the next election (in much the same way as William Hague seems to be doing).

The alternative is to hold on as a deeply unpopular Prime Minister for a few more months/years, and then see himself become the Labour equivalent of John Major (but without the lure of Cricket to salve his wounds)

10 Predictions for 2008

OK, these aren’t really that serious, but I thought I’d have a go… 10 predictions for things that might just happen in 2008. Some are more plausible than others; none of them should be used to elevate me to a position of sage or futurologist (unless they all come true!)

  1. The American presidential election race will comprise at least 50% of all international news on TV and radio in the UK this year.
  2. This will be despite the fact that violent political instability will continue in Kenya, Pakistan, Burma (Myanmar) and (eventually) Zimbabwe…
  3. Gordon Brown (UK Prime Minister) will look increasingly incompetent and will continue to wobble precariously in the poles, especially as his collection of neophytes cabinet ministers will continue to be inexperienced, anonymous and ignorant of basic law (like data protection).
  4. The Conservatives will capitalise on this instability, without ever actually looking electable (never mind a plausible alternative government). Dave Cameron will continue in cheeky-chapy status; no one will know who the other guy is…
  5. An utterly disproportionate amount of media attention will be given to every product released by a small California-based technology firm named after a piece of fruit. Carla Harding will blog about her lusting for each new item.
  6. Capitalising on the moves of mobile phone companies towards IP-based infrastructure, the mighty Google will continue its move towards total control of the whole world by releasing a mobile phone that can operate across all networks simultaneously. Everyone will want one.
  7. Technology pundits and Google staffers will say that this finally “[makes] the mobile internet work properly for the first time
  8. The Anglican Church worldwide will spend the whole year talking about gay bishops (ok, occasionally about women bishops), continuing to reinforce the media’s perception that Christians are totally obsessed with sex. They will end the 2008 Lambeth Conference by utterly failing to resolve the issue, proving yet again that their greatest weakness is their greatest strength*.
  9. The phrase Emerging Church will only be used by people who are attacking it, allowing the good work of individual churches to continue under the radar, while really confusing irate Reformed Evangelicals.
  10. Towards the end of the year, I will finally get round to buying a laptop, after talking about doing so for more than 2 years. It will probably have a piece of fruit on the front…

* They never actually make a decision on divisive issues, meaning that people with utterly opposing opinions can (somewhat) successfully coexist.

Gutless Gordon

So after tons and tons of speculation, media hype, and plenty of comment from ministers, it looked by Friday morning that we were certain to have an election in the next month…

and then Gordon saw the polls.

The press are having a field-day, which they quite deserve. It hasn’t been the political writers driving the speculation of the last couple of weeks, it had been the Labour party. I cannot believe quite how spineless our current Prime Minister seems to be. This is going to do huge damage to his political reputation, proving that he doesn’t have the instinct of his predecessor. And, in my eyes, it shows him as unfit to govern…

…if only the other guy was up to scratch…